Ball State loves the Internet. We heart it. It’s our thing.

10 Feb

Ball State University was the first school to have wireless internet campus-wide. Is that true? I don’t know, but there were billboards. They sung our praises. They did it in Helvetica Neue. It all seemed very official.
Being first was mostly a marketing thing. Their feather; their cap. As for the students, we didn’t care. We’d gotten wireless Internet, seemingly for free. I mean, hawt-dog.

Wireless Internet really is the shit. It’s convenient. It makes laptops not worthless. Also, it does other things: fast. Memes are exploding. Hair memes. Lesbians that look like Justin Bieber. Cats, the entire species, have quadrupled in popularity. To pacify the cat-hungry crowds, Petsmart is genetically splicing domestic cats with strains of sex-crazed rabbits. It’s taking too long. There are riots. A Petsmart in Illinois just imploded. Mobs of cat ladies have networked, taken over New York city, and are demanding to be taken seriously.
Ransom money
is involved.
They’re calling themselves the Coup de Mew.

I’m surprised you didn’t hear about that.

No but really, the Internet is cool. Look at these pop machines. Just look at these pop machines.

They have antennas.

Yes, note that. It’s for the Internet. You don’t need quarters anymore, to get a [DIET COKE aside: Chicklitz will do product placement for $$$$. Call us.]

To buy a soda, all you need is your credit card.
It’s convenient. It’s obnoxiously convenient.

My New Year’s resolution was to drink less soda because I needed more quarters for laundry.
Looks like I found myself a loophole. 😀
Looks like I found myself a loophole. D:

And you guys, I know I started off by saying that Ball State is really technologically advanced and that we don’t even get grades, we just get shot with lasers, and that’s 99% true, but this particular pop machine is located in Robert Bell. Robert Bell is the Middle Ages of campus. We don’t even get windows. NOT A JOKE.

But even Robert Bell is caving.
The Internet is really big. (duh)
It changes things. (duh. duh.)

The Internet is changing the way you read creative writing.
It’s still creative. It’s still written. I don’t buy the shit about TVs taking over the written word, and I’m sorry, Ray Bradbury. Writing is a darn good way to tell a story, and I think there’s something to it that we just like.

But it looks different. We’re not packing it in novels anymore—not here, at least.
Because we’ve noticed something. Ya’lls keep coming back.
Seriously, it’s like you like us or something. (Um gross, no homo.)
Well, it’s mutual. We like y’alls, too. So we’re going to start spicing it up a bit. This Sunday, we’ve got a surprise for you. Guest blogger #1. It’s a mystery, so come back on Sunday and check it out.


2 Responses to “Ball State loves the Internet. We heart it. It’s our thing.”

  1. Layne Ransom February 12, 2011 at 12:09 pm #

    I’m glad you can tell I’m both a greed-ridden, disgusting excuse for a human being as well as someone who enjoys making cupcake icing in various colors.

  2. March 4, 2011 at 8:31 pm #

    mmmmm … Helvetica Neue
    but seriously? you chose to shout out to Diet Coke? Come on Laval!

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