Catch Me, RITA DOVE, I’m Swooning.

8 Feb
Has anyone perused the “Featured Presenters” list for AWP this past weekend?

LIKE WHOA. I’m seein’ the likes of Junòt Diaz, Natasha Trethaway, Rick Moody, Rita Dove, Sapphire, Amy Hempel, Bob Hicock, Kay Ryan, Joyce Carol Oates…to name just a few.

How is it that I just recently learned about this mystical amalgamation of all these classy people? I mean gosh, as a fledgling writer, one really needs someone to take them aside and whisper such glory into their ear. Naturally, this will prevent the type of obnoxious swooning I am now doing. At work. To the amusement of my ever present and alert co-workers.

Really really really. I’ve even heard rumors that an AWP attendee could encounter a writer they admire, say Rita Dove, at some little dive bar. Maybe even throw back a few beers with said demi-goddess.

YES PLEASE.

So, for those of you readers who maybe don’t know the wonders of AWP, I’m going to do what I do best: make a list.

AWP IS:

-A place where knowledge is spread through words, both spoken and written.

-A place where the scholarly congregate and maybe even get rowdy.

-The acronym for Associated Writing Programs.

-A yearly conference around either February or March.

-Taking place close to home next year (Chicago).

-The springboard to the “largest system of literary patronage the world has ever seen.”

-Also a book fair.

-Attractive to more than 8,000 attendees and over 500 publishers.

-The place where networking is no longer such a dirty word.

-Basically AWESOME.

(here: is a link to learn more).

AWP IS NOT:

-Free.

-The acronym for American Wimp Patrol, or Asinine Walleyed People (THANK GOD).

-A rull big party…at least not all the time.

-A place to waste time.

-A place to brown nose.

-Useless.

THIS IS A PICTURE OF A WIMP. Also, coincidently the average width of most male writers.

So. I am pretty sure the Chickz are gonna head on up to the windy city next year for AWP. We might even score a table and of course, we’ll ramble about it for all y’all that couldn’t make the trip.

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5 Responses to “Catch Me, RITA DOVE, I’m Swooning.”

  1. leeraloo February 8, 2011 at 12:44 pm #

    It’s not fair to make me so stoked about something that’s an entire year away.

    Can you imagine if we had our own table there? What would we even do with it?!

  2. leeraloo February 8, 2011 at 12:47 pm #

    Also how did Joyce Carol Oates have the time to go? Shouldn’t she be working on like, 80 different novels right now? Or writing a short story every minute, like she usually does?

  3. Mrs. V. February 8, 2011 at 10:26 pm #

    Ah, yes, I remember Rita. And, I didn’t know the AWP was going to be in Chicago next year. Maybe I should look into going… Thank you for the package you recently sent, so sweet of you to mention me at the end. Hope all is well with you, dearie. Keep in touch.

    P.S. And yes, you can call me by my first name. 🙂

  4. ce. February 9, 2011 at 2:17 pm #

    Oh hell, Chicago is going to be ridiculous next year. Wish you chicklitz could’ve gone this year. It’d have been a good time seeing your starry-eyed, glazed, first-AWP faces around the bookfair and off-site events.

  5. thenerdynegress February 9, 2011 at 6:28 pm #

    AHHHHHH! I can’t wait! We’re going to have so much fun. I just realized that it will be a first for all of us. That makes it super-duper special.

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