Today is the last day of 2010. That feels weird to say. This year has gone by so fast, and so much has happened. I think most of my personal changes have taken place internally; this has been a year of growing up. I find that the more I write, the more rocky memories I uncover. This has been a year of acknowledging the past and moving on with the future, of finding peace inside the corners of my bones I thought would never stop shaking. There has been the ending of relationships, as well as the growth and strengthening of new ones (WHAT UP CHICKLITZ). My best friend proposed to me this summer, so next year I’m marrying the love of my life. Definitely a time of growing up.
At the end of every year we make resolutions— things that we want to change or do in the new year— that we know full well we won’t stick to. Every year it’s the same story, I do it too…I’m going to write more, drink less soda, work out on a regular basis, blah blah blah, etc. But what makes January 1st different than any other day of the year? It’s silly to think that we can take an entire year’s worth of bad habits and just change as soon as the clock strikes midnight.
I think we do it, because we all need a fresh start, even if it’s not real. Life never gives us moments to just start over; we have to create our own new beginnings, even if there are years of past experiences that say different. This year I’m not making any resolutions, but I will say this: I want to toast to change. I want to embrace life’s forward motion as something positive and good, not just as an unstoppable, irreversible force; I don’t want to be scared anymore.
What is that feeling when you’re driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks disappearing? – It’s the too-huge world vaulting us, and it’s goodbye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies. -Kerouac